I just read the book “How to win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie and I loved it! Like the new testament it left me convinced that the best way to go is to be good. Just be good.
Every chapter had entertaining stories that all left you feeling inspired to be good. I liked that. I’m going to share some of the stuff I wrote on my white board while reading.
To start of it helps being genuinely interested in people. This will make you a better listener and that will help you encourage people to tell you more about themselves. People love talking about themselves and will grow very fond of you for giving them the opportunity to do so.
I love to talk about myself, but I have tried to change into a better listener. The people you communicate with like you better if they get to talk and you will also end up learning so much more. Every second you spend talking about yourself you will be repeating things you already know. Every second spent listening to others will teach you things you didn’t know.
Then these things:
Number one, smile more!
Number two, learn to remember names.
Three, don’t ever nag!
Four, try to make people say Yes :) Yes is positive and makes them feel good.
So, find out what people are interested in and talk about that. Try to praise them for what they know and do well. Don’t argue if you don’t agree with them. Arguing is stupid. Best case you prove that you are right, but the other person won’t change his mind and he won’t like you. Worst case you are proven wrong and the other person won’t like you. Don’t argue.
I also learned that things will get easier in life if we learn to own our mistakes. Stop trying to hide a bad move with excuses and just own it. Own your own mistakes, but never call other people out on theirs. Let them save face and move on. You will never gain anything by making someone else feel bad.
Do your best to make people feel good. As soon as you lay eyes on someone, try to think of genuine compliments you could give them. It will make them intimidating and if you share it with them, it will make them like you.
If you want other people to do something for you, make them feel like it is their idea. Let them take all the credit.
It’s hard to always be nice, kind and motivating. It’s hard to not argue, claim the credit for your own ideas or avoid talking too much about yourself. But you will be better off if you find the self discipline to be good. I have personal experiences to back it up and I know there is no other way. If you doubt it, just try it as an experiment? What do you have to lose? You can go right back to nagging if compliments don’t work.